Dear Jerry,

Dear JMc,

What's up!! Hard to believe it's been 20 years! A lot has changed since we hung out last, but overall, I suppose not much really. I mean, sure, people age and life does its thing, but I'm about the same. Of course, as you know, I got married to an incredible girl. I would LOVE to see the two of you hang out! That would be a trip! You would get along great, that's for sure!! I've told her about you, so she's excited about meeting you someday. 

And then there's Claire. We had her ONE YEAR Birthday just two weeks ago!! Now THAT'S a crazy thought!! I remember telling you about her, but there's just so much more to it than I expected! I'm sure you wouldn't be too surprised, given the whole 'parenthood' thing, but for me it's pretty mind-blowing. I'm sure much of it is learning how to be a parent, but little girls?? That's a whole new ballgame! She's a mess too! She's walking all over the place, which increases her "mischievous" factor. She really wants to be able to climb. I'm sure that part will get here soon enough.

Nate's going back to school. I suppose it's not 'school' but more of PTA...school. Ok, so maybe it is school. He's got this crazy hunger for schooling, which is ironic because of how many times you had to 'encourage' him to work harder. It worked. The boy's a genius. He's got more knowledge about stuff I can't even spell!! And through it all, he hasn't lost his edge of hilarity. The basketball thing didn't work out, but I know you're still proud of him. Besides, I just couldn't see him in the NBA...

Mom's steady busy, as usual. She does her thing at the kitchen at church every week. It may give her a headache every now and then, but she loves it. Every time we talk on the phone she brings it up. But you know her: loves to cook for large groups of people, so it's right up her alley. Other than that, she loves being a grandmother, and she really is a "Grand"mother. She loves it. It's funny, but still shows my stupidity and naivity, but she's still teaching me stuff about what an incredible parent looks like. You'd think I would have learned and developed the deepest sense of parenting/hood from her, but she still surprises and amazes me. I don't know how you pulled it off, but you married WAY over your head!! Congratulations though!! Personally, I know there was absolutely no one better for you or the job ahead of you guys. 

In closing, 20 years is a lot, but I know when we get together, we'll have more than enough time to catch up. Take it easy and enjoy yourself, even though that's a little silly to ask. I know you're loving it! Tell the family I said hello. Don't know when I'll see you again, but know that I think about you everyday. I miss you.

I love you, Dad.

Lovingly your son,

JMc

No Mo' Woe to Me!!

Y'know, I kinda like blogging. It's not a passion or something I think about all day, nor is it something I do on a consistent basis (life happens, and that's more fun than typing). But I still enjoy it. It's a great way to just throw something out there that I'm thinking about or working through...or just something to get out of my head and onto paper...er...screens...uh...or something.

Yay.

So here we are, approaching Thanksgiving. Nah, I'll blog on that tomorrow. Yeah, I'm aiming for two blogs, two days. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Recently, I have witnessed a certain lifestyle that really confuses me. I understand what it's about, but the sources that I have seen it lived out in, it just doesn't make sense to me. So let's discuss...

A certain mentality exists 'out there' that is, more or less, a pitfall of common thought. I call it the "victim mentality." To sum up a quick definition, the victim mentality is that mindset someone has that leads them to believe that things are never their fault; that it's always the forces beyond their control that brings this down on them rather than their own actions (or lack thereof); a mentality that takes on a re-active response rather than a proactive one; a mindset that focuses on the 'woe is me' in certain situations and a content with that remaining the focus. This mentality is one that none of us are beyond or incapable of having, but a trap that convinces us of a lack of responsibilty or ability to have the power to change things by our own actions.

Is this getting confusing?

I've seen it in people that refuse to accept the fact that they are, or could be, wrong in a situation. Rather than accepting fault, they accuse the outside world of the putting them in the situation. It's a mentality that focuses on self, rather than the bigger picture. They see how the situation affects 'me' vs. how 'me' can affect the situation. It's a "me-first-and-only" attitude that is a form of justification of action (or lack thereof) that paints the person to look like the victim in the situation. That way, the outside world makes excuses for that person. They do not hold them to the same standard as everyone else...or at least, that is the ultimate goal for the person with the victim mentality.

Here's something for ya: "Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. (Galatians 6:4, The Message)"

Translation? Live your life. Quit making excuses for yourself. Quit justifying your short comings. Stop looking at what others have done that supposedly put you into the situation that YOU got yourself in. Accept responsibility for your mistakes. Stop worrying about everyone else when it's your situation. Do what God has called YOU to do, because no one else in existence can live out God's will for YOUR life. And don't be stuck on yourself. Open your eyes. Recognize the outside world and then take your place in allowing God to use you to change it. Admit when you're wrong. Stop trying to take the splinter out of everyone else's eye when you have a plank in your own. And it's ok to ask for help! That's what the Body of Christ is here for!! Quit blaming them, and accept the goodness God offers through them. Stop being 'me-focused.'

You're not a victim.
It just might be your fault.
What are you going to do about it now?

The world is waiting.
The people are watching.
The Father is calling.

Your move...

Hey Stone-thrower-person!

If you want to be a martyr, move somewhere that what you do or believe is illegal. Stop standing on a hill of self-righteousness throwing stones at the innocent, believing and convincing others it's the right thing to do.

There's no room for self-righteousness before God.

Happy Birthday, Baby(?) Claire!!

What a difference a year makes...

Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday, Dear Sweet Precious Claire!
Happy Birthday to you!

We celebrated. We ate. We Chuck E. Cheesed. We ice creamed. We laughed. We visited. And now, just like last year, we slept.

I thought life was awesome until a year ago. Then I learned what living was really about.

Thank you Amanda. I love you so much for sharing and bringing this joy in my life!
Thank you Claire. I love you! We'll have our struggles, but none so great to overshadow my love.
Thank you God. You are the Giver of Life, Love, Baby Girls, Sweet Wives, and overall--angels. You never cease to amaze me.

Happy First Birthday, Baby Claire!!
Daddy loves you!

A Penny for Your Thoughts is Still Too Steep!

I respect all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons. Some gain respect based off profession and their willingness to lay it down for someone else (i.e. firemen, police officers, teachers, military, etc.). Some garner respect for the sweat that it takes to successfully pull off a job. A hard worker is not easy to come by, so hats off. Others merit respect through integrity, or success rate, or even how they lift everyone else around them to a higher level. Rock on.

But daily I learn more and more how much respect I need to give to ministers. No, not because I am one, so don't think I'm patting myself on the back. Trust me, I'm not even worthy enough to be an intern's associate's secretary's part-time secondary trash-taker-outter temp. No, I'm learning what those folks have to deal with for the rest of their lives, not just when they're in the pulpit or office, or when they're "on the clock" (which, for the record, is 24-7-365-ever for ministers...).

One area that I'm becoming highly educated in recently is that of opinion. You've heard the saying, "Opinions are like belly buttons--everyone's got one," or something similar. But ministers apparently cannot afford to have their own. See, as I have learned, a minister's opinion is drastically different than someone else's opinion. Lots of people have and give their opinion, and it's either accepted or refuted in fun or debate. Then, when the conversation has moved on, they're still the same ol' same ol' person they were before they interjected their thoughts. The difference for ministers is that they are never heard as a person. Their opinions are always heard in the context of ministers. See, whenever the topic is dropped or the conversation has moved on, people still hear the opinion of that person (who is a minister) and volunteer it in the context of other areas of life.

The next problem lies with the receiver. See, everyone has their expectations of ministers. Many people tend to think that ministers can be used as a walking, breathing doormat to walk on and force their ideas upon because ministers are always supposed to be validators of opinions and never argue or dispute. But if/when they do, then suddenly that minister becomes a "problem," closed-minded, or my favorite (sarcasm) "doesn't like me!"

For example, Charlie Churchmember befriends Mickey Minister. They get along well, and have even had a few lunches or dinners together with family. One day, Charlie discusses with Mickey his ideas on something totally unrelated to the church. Let's say he brings up thoughts on a local principal at school. Charlie doesn't like the principal. That principal "got onto his kid one day when he didn't deserve it!" (One day, we'll dive into the idea of parenting teens...but I digress) Mickey disagrees with Charlie and supports the principal because of his consistency and integrity. Let's also pretend that Mickey has no children in that school. Suddenly, the situation becomes factual that our minister doesn't like Charlie's kids and is glad they got in trouble, and also supports Mr./s. Principal that believes in yelling at innocent children, which leads to a biased opinion of Mickey's children in Charlie's eyes, and even goes into the reality of refusing Charlie's children to hang out with Mickey's children. Then, when Charlie gets around some other parents that don't like the principal, the ensuing conversation starts with, "Well, y'know our minister supports this evil person..." It's not, "Mickey likes the guy." Nope, it's the 'minister' and his opinion that gets attacked, which leads others to take issue with the 'minister' in question.

It's ok to laugh or disagree, but I've seen it happen over and over again. And yes, even that exact situation has been carried out with people I know!! It's ridiculous. I haven't been burned as bad as "Mickey" and other ministers I know (mainly pastors and longer-tenured ministers), but I've seen it and experienced it a few times myself. And people wonder why ministers don't have many close friends...

But, I suppose all this is just one 'minister's' opinion. In the grand scheme of things, my opinion really doesn't matter. And sometimes, it may even differ from your own. If so, don't paint ministers with the paintbrush of stupidity or small-mindedness. Blame me and me alone. I may not be able to afford to have my own opinion, but at the same time, your own may be a little overpriced!!!

Designer Genes & Magazines

It certainly won't be the last time, but this is the first. I haven't "blogged" in a while (still not a fan of that word!), but I have plenty of thoughts. Unfortunately, they aren't linear, so this will just be a 'what's on my mind' type-o-thing!!

I'm a fan of tabs/bullet points.

-Va-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-tion!!!! That's right!! As of tonight, I am unofficially officially on vacation! Amanda and I haven't taken a vacation in THREE YEARS!! Seriously, the last vacation we were on was our one year wedding anniversary to Orlando, which was BRICK!!! Loved it! Had a blast! Do it again!! But, between busy schedules, pregnancy, baby, and great big awesome cool stuff, we've never found the time, place, or money to have another...till now!! Granted, it's just to the beach for a few days, but I am sooooooooooooo pumped for some down time with my family!! So, if you need something for the next few days, as my friend Philip would say, "Call somebody else!" (Seriously, if either of you need something, call me...it just might be a day or two before I get back with you...or....longer...).

-Green Bay lost. AGAIN. To the Minnesota Vikings. AGAIN! I am displeased by this. AGAIN!!!

-My brother's heart hurts. This may be the 'Designer Genes' part of the title, because when he hurts, I hurt for him. It sucks. He's pretty ticked off right now too, so you may not want to bring it up!

-I love football magazines, but other than the month of May, I have no new mags to read. This is serving two purposes in my life: 1) God's telling me to read something else, something more of His...taking a book on vacation, and 2) I'm in a football pool that I really suck at and am in last place, so I don't think the magazines are helping. Great. Last place again!

-Did I mention I'm on vacation?

-If I went back and did the high school thing again, what would I do different and how would I screw THAT up!?! I see many of our students at church rockin' it out, but so many that are just standing on the sidelines with their thumb up their...gloves, waiting for someone to do Life for them. WHAT?!? Live YOUR LIFE!!! Quit expecting others to do it for you!! You can do it!! I've seen it done before!! People are watching and waiting for your example! They need you to show them how! I'm one of 'em!

-Ok, this may get me kicked out or at least reprimanded in Baptistland, but my new show is 'Modern Family.' Yes, I know this show portrays a gay couple with an adopted baby, which would make staunch conservatives frown on me for my "attitude of acceptance" and what not. Look, I get it. No, I'm not down with homosexuality. It's a sin and displeases God because it's not what He intended when He created men and women different. Did it take God by surprise? No. We're humans. Have you seen how bad we messed up SO MUCH OTHER STUFF? Even if He didn't know everything (which He does) or see what was going down before there was anything we are familiar with (which He did/does), do you really think that after all this time anything we do would surprise Him?!? Besides, I sin. I'm a sinner. I don't justify it, but my sin is just as much sin as anything or anyone else's. Love the sinner. Dislike the sin. That's what God does for me daily. 'Modern Family' shows where we're at as a society with a humorous spin. Besides, have you seen how funny that junk is?!?

-And now, to close, a list of heroes (in no certain order):
Spider-Man, Hulk, Nate, Abraham Lincoln, Mom, Wallace, Mongoose, Bonhoeffer, Yukon Cornelius, Jack Bauer, Ruckus, Sawyer, John David Stutz, DavEd, Claire, Reed, You, Coop, Durden, William Wallace, Anita, Jerry, Butch, and Amanda. (Jesus is a given, so don't write ugly messages!).

And always remember: Help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered!!