A Penny for Your Thoughts is Still Too Steep!

I respect all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons. Some gain respect based off profession and their willingness to lay it down for someone else (i.e. firemen, police officers, teachers, military, etc.). Some garner respect for the sweat that it takes to successfully pull off a job. A hard worker is not easy to come by, so hats off. Others merit respect through integrity, or success rate, or even how they lift everyone else around them to a higher level. Rock on.

But daily I learn more and more how much respect I need to give to ministers. No, not because I am one, so don't think I'm patting myself on the back. Trust me, I'm not even worthy enough to be an intern's associate's secretary's part-time secondary trash-taker-outter temp. No, I'm learning what those folks have to deal with for the rest of their lives, not just when they're in the pulpit or office, or when they're "on the clock" (which, for the record, is 24-7-365-ever for ministers...).

One area that I'm becoming highly educated in recently is that of opinion. You've heard the saying, "Opinions are like belly buttons--everyone's got one," or something similar. But ministers apparently cannot afford to have their own. See, as I have learned, a minister's opinion is drastically different than someone else's opinion. Lots of people have and give their opinion, and it's either accepted or refuted in fun or debate. Then, when the conversation has moved on, they're still the same ol' same ol' person they were before they interjected their thoughts. The difference for ministers is that they are never heard as a person. Their opinions are always heard in the context of ministers. See, whenever the topic is dropped or the conversation has moved on, people still hear the opinion of that person (who is a minister) and volunteer it in the context of other areas of life.

The next problem lies with the receiver. See, everyone has their expectations of ministers. Many people tend to think that ministers can be used as a walking, breathing doormat to walk on and force their ideas upon because ministers are always supposed to be validators of opinions and never argue or dispute. But if/when they do, then suddenly that minister becomes a "problem," closed-minded, or my favorite (sarcasm) "doesn't like me!"

For example, Charlie Churchmember befriends Mickey Minister. They get along well, and have even had a few lunches or dinners together with family. One day, Charlie discusses with Mickey his ideas on something totally unrelated to the church. Let's say he brings up thoughts on a local principal at school. Charlie doesn't like the principal. That principal "got onto his kid one day when he didn't deserve it!" (One day, we'll dive into the idea of parenting teens...but I digress) Mickey disagrees with Charlie and supports the principal because of his consistency and integrity. Let's also pretend that Mickey has no children in that school. Suddenly, the situation becomes factual that our minister doesn't like Charlie's kids and is glad they got in trouble, and also supports Mr./s. Principal that believes in yelling at innocent children, which leads to a biased opinion of Mickey's children in Charlie's eyes, and even goes into the reality of refusing Charlie's children to hang out with Mickey's children. Then, when Charlie gets around some other parents that don't like the principal, the ensuing conversation starts with, "Well, y'know our minister supports this evil person..." It's not, "Mickey likes the guy." Nope, it's the 'minister' and his opinion that gets attacked, which leads others to take issue with the 'minister' in question.

It's ok to laugh or disagree, but I've seen it happen over and over again. And yes, even that exact situation has been carried out with people I know!! It's ridiculous. I haven't been burned as bad as "Mickey" and other ministers I know (mainly pastors and longer-tenured ministers), but I've seen it and experienced it a few times myself. And people wonder why ministers don't have many close friends...

But, I suppose all this is just one 'minister's' opinion. In the grand scheme of things, my opinion really doesn't matter. And sometimes, it may even differ from your own. If so, don't paint ministers with the paintbrush of stupidity or small-mindedness. Blame me and me alone. I may not be able to afford to have my own opinion, but at the same time, your own may be a little overpriced!!!